Mixology: The Home Study Course

In previous posts Devoted Readers have had to derive vicarious intoxication from a post cocktail session when I have had several cups of oolong-ginger tea and a long drive home in which to sober up. But now, thanks to the miracle of the Mixologist Home Study Course, Devoted Readers can share in the on-the-spot intoxication of Paul as he progresses from Manhattan to Paisley Martini and sinks further and further into tipsification. All that remains is for me to put a lampshade on my head and that is proabably not too far away.

I fear I will be making cocktails as strong as Lady A's. Good Lord.

So this morning I took my Alcohol Awareness class, held at a local Italian restaurant which was a true dump. It's Italian food for the geriatric set who don't like spicey food. We were served coffee. It was actually water which had a nodding acquaintance with coffee. Miss V from downstairs was there and four other people who work at some of the many dive bars in the area. Some of these places must be truly awful. The class itself was pretty easy and the test was definitely simple. I probably could have taken the test first and still passed. So I passed the course and I am now a certified Mixologist! Fortunately at M's I will not be dealing with people who have been bar hopping and going down the drain on multiple pitchers of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Miss V told me that I have good posture. I was surprised since I think I tend to slouch, but she re-iterated her opinion that I had good posture, something she lacked. That surprised me.

So I decided a home study course in mixology would be a good thing so that when I'm called upon to make a Cosmopolitan or a Manhattan I will know just what I'm about. So today I went to the local liquor store after work and picked up some gin, dry and sweet vermouth, bourbon, bitters and Absolut vodka. This evening I mixed up a Manhttan and a Paisley Martini and I'm pleased at my efforts. Let's just say that I am feeling somewhat similar to what I'd be feeling at M's after two cocktails ... only at M's I'd be wise enough to include a large glass of water and alternate between the cocktail and the water. Here at home ... well, I can be three sheets to the wind. I told my manager this Mixology Home Study Course and he asked "Will we see you tomorrow?"